Thursday, February 17, 2011

De-stress Yourself Before You Mess Yourself

Working sucks. no secret there - otherwise they wouldn't even call it "work." Surprised it's not called "stick pineapples up my ass" or "take a cheese-grater to my face" - it would better capture the sentiment of "i gotta  work this weekend"..."i gotta stick pineapples up my ass this weekend". And, if you've been in this job long enough, you've gotten to that point where you are so overworked, sleep-deprived and just stressed out that you are ready to deck the starbuck's guy as soon as he takes two seconds too long to fuck up your coffee. so after i've been to that point a few times, decided i needed to make a conscious effort to break out of these depressions.

So, one helpful thing that gets me through sticking pineapples up my ass and preventing me from strangling the barista is ensuring that i always get my daily/weekly/monthly de-stress. You know, setting your priorities so that you always fit in those things to keep you from going insane. I like to play sports, watch movies/tv, play video games, have sex, smoke weed and eat burgers and pizza, in roughly that order i guess. But really, when you are so busy and crazy, you can lose sight of those things that are really important. When you are busiest, don't waste time cleaning your apartment, buying groceries, responding to emails from your parents or reading newspapers - you need to re-prioritize to get in some of your top de-stress things that you can fit in. You'll feel so much better. You can delegate all those other random things, or just ignore them, and they will either go away, or people will just realize that you really are really busy, which you really are anyway.

For example, once upon a time, i was a young and eager monkey, in the middle of some horrendous capital markets gig with overbearing banker clients, stressed out seniors and a vicious timeline. just crushed in ridiculously retarded paper chasing and emailing from sunup to sundown, day after day.  and when i had an opportunity to play squash (yes i like to play squash), and i had to not because of "work", i wanted to stick pencils in my eyes (but instead just throw my pencil holder across the room)... so i just said "fuck it" and took 1.5 hours and just went. you know what happened? nothing. jesus, what the hell can go wrong in 1.5 hours if some junior lawyer cannot be reached or isn't around to help the senior guy find missing periods or inconsistent capitalization in a book? nothing. i realized then that what i did really was of basically no import.  and it shouldn't completely control or effect my life. when attorneys talk about how shit fucked their life is and that they have zero time to even eat properly or do things, it's complete and utter bullshit. it's all about how efficient you are, time and client and senior management, and how you prioritize your life.  and if someone calls you out on your little excursion, you can either lie and say you had something or do what most people do - say they were out getting food. for some reason everyone has the impression that time spent for sustenance is sacred - all the better. looking back on this tidbit now, it seems so stupid that i would not have done something like this, but i know some people still have this weird fucking mentality.  anyway, if i hadn't pushed my really non-urgent work aside and did something that made me happy, i would have actually known what it felt like to have pineapples 10ft up my ass.

And if all else fails, just close ur eyes and go to your happy place...

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