Thursday, March 17, 2011

i fucking hate ipos

and fucking the "capital markets" and fucking being a monkey bitch cow dung licker and fucking slow cabbies and fucking stop lights that don't go your way and fucking people that take fucking forever in the security check as if they've never seen a goddamn conveyor belt before and have no brain and fucking 19 hour days getting up at 5 am to go to middle o nowhere bumfuck and come back on the same day and fucking airline food and fucking my landlord who wants to raise my rent by thirty fucking percent and fucking my bitch bosses and fucking stupid people and fucking nice people and fucking people that think they own the world and put their feet up on your armrest and fucking bankers that have allowed arrogance and vanity to consume their entire being and like a plague has supplanted the common sense part of their brain turning them into walking talking well-dressed down-syndrome dildos.

ugh. on a lighter note. i'm home now. will continue writing this post in thirty minutes...

<40 minutes later>

so i had a long day. shit happens. even this corporate monkey lawyer goes a bit ballistic sometimes. nobody's perfect. i guess what not to lose sight of is that i should not dwell on the disastrous and more importantly not go to bed angry at the world - u kno the feeling when u lie down and ur heart is still throbbing in your chest and all you can think about is work - i will sleep poorly have bad dreams (about work) and have an even shittier day tomorrow. as u might be able to tell, ive already calmed down a bit - i feel the lackadaisical drone of my typing and general aloofness creeping back over my body.  remember to do ur de-stress just a little bit when u most need it.  i came home tonight ready to punch and kick and maim every thing in sight - any corporate monkey knows the feeling - u r sleep deprived, overworked and unhappy. there have been law review articles written about how lawyers are the most likely bridge jumpers in the world (if you haven't read that article - i recommend it for some perspective...especially if u still in law school man).  and yet we still go through it for our fucking banana chunks like fucking chumps, feeling like every morning u will kick through the stupid plexiglass and knock out the crazy cabbie, reach over the counter and strangle the new/airhead barista or put a retarded paralegal's head through ur computer screen.  one of my ex-colleagues used to say all the time that he wished he would just get hit by a bus, because then, at least, at the hospital he could sleep....

anyway here's what i did after i got home. i turned on some soothing music five times too loud, took a shower hot enough and long enough to melt my skin off, sat on the couch, drank some hot peppermint chocolate milk and and just oozed. and i felt better already. now i'm going to watch some kick-ass anime with guys that say things like, "i have a become more powerful than you in more ways than you can imagine and surpassed every known limit of supernatural ability, and thus will smite you fantastically", in japanese, and i will feel even better and go to bed inspired for a new day of escaping the monkey chain rather than wanting to jump in front of buses.

and, if u say that u don't have time to do any of that shit because u have to go back to work early or something just HAS to be done, bullshit. like i said (or will say later), JDs are fucking doctors of jurisprudence - that's a FAKE science if you didn't realize it - no one is dying. there's a reason why MD's are actually called "doctors" and JDs are not. get some rest and shirk the fucking work as long as u can.  if ur de-stress is to just sleep rather than do all that shit i said, fine (i'd still suggest unwinding for a few minutes first cuz of the bad dream thing though - u will dream about work otw).  when i used to pull all-nighters at the office for deals, when it got to that point in the early morning when i was just too tired to continue typing whatever the fuck i was typing or chase whoever i was supposed to chase, i just stopped and went to bed under my desk on a pillow with my eye mask, indefinitely. and it was fan-fucking-tastic. that 45 min or 1 hour of sleep or whatever until the senior guy came in or starting yelling from his office "hey! what the fuck r u doing??" - totally worth it. and guess what: no one died. check. deals got done. check. ended up better mentally and physically than a real chump. check. same amount of banana chunks. check check check.

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