anyway, i dunno how got to that...i'm writing about how to extricate oneself from stupid fucking calls. i dunno why so many people, especially bankers, feel like it's so much more efficient to "have a call" about something rather than email or writing a letter. honestly sometimes i feel like writing a letter wd be better, cuz then at least it forces people to think about what they fuckign say before they say it, and then actually make decisions rather than resolve to think about stuff. which ends up happening a lot.
k nuff gripe. i guess there are a few things i do i try to do shorten/get off calls. of course depends on the circumstances - like if u r on a call where:
- other people from your firm are on
- the topic is ancillary to your role
- involves more parties than necessary (including u)
- it's an 'update' call for a cap mkts deal
- call will probably be conducted mostly in another language (that you don't speak)
- it's optional and for your own benefit, so someone tells you
now there are other situations where your presence is quasi-needed, like when there's a smaller group, you may be the only person (but again not so important you are on), you are covering for someone else, etc. No matter if it's this case, or even one of the situations above but u feel bad about just not getting on - sometimes you just need an excuse. here are some good ones i've had success wtih:
- the line/connection didn't work (maybe they didn't get enough lines, maybe your line is bad) - works well when u r dialing in remotely. couple this with a few dial in + immediate hang-ups, so u get that tone in and tone out, hey at least you tried!
- blackberry problems. everyone's been there. ever had ur bb freeze? ever dropped the pos and it literally falls apart? i wd drop my thing five inches onto a carpet and the back would fall off, the battery would come out, the keypad would pop off, all the individual keys fly out of the keypad...u get the picture. and then the best/worst thing, once u reboot, it takes like ten minutes to start up again. anyway, just turn ur phone off so that people who try to call u to tell u to join will assume ur having problems. and trust me, they'll get over it.
- scheduling conflicts. if this is during the day, chances r u cld have meetings, other calls, fire drills something. if u r the main guy, this will prolly just postpone the inevitable. but if u r just one o many or the call is really ancillayr to u, life will go on without u.
- just say no. if the call is stupid, and u r working with someone that also has some decent common sense and is not jsut some monkey, u can probably huddle and tell the requester that a call really is not needed and the time would be more well spent actualy doing work. a lot of times this can work if u r dealing with the right people. especially if u r talking someone out of, say, the daily update call by suggesting as straightfaced as u can an hourly update call.
- pull the ethics card. worsk fro meeting too. the rule is that lawyers cant be present or listening in unless counsel for the counterparty is also present. works better for meetings cuz there's a lot more involved than getting on a call.
- dial in conspicuously, drop off surreptitiously. like my banker buddy who balled with me, got on his call and contined to ball. if u say that ur on in the beginning but somehow got disconnected and cd not reconnect etc. wroks well.
- run away. if u r dodging ur own phone rather than a con call, just don't pick it up. whether it's someone who cd potentiallly give u more work or just a wild card or if its friday afternoon, just bolt. tell ur secretary to cover. go to the hospital. go for a coffee. if its important theyll email u. if u get an email to call someone back. ignore. if its really urgent they will make the effort to call u. likely eveyrone is just trying to get shit off their plate and give it to you. fuck them! do ur own goddamn work!