Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dealing with Horrible Bosses. Part 3

one fo the most frequent questinos/gripes i hear are about bosses. and its not just limited to lawyers, bankers, regular corporate monkeys alike all have issues with their seniors. maybe bitchiness just brews better with age, a hypochondriac like junior complex or some other phenomenon but this is a common problem. and, i think a large part of job disatisfaction stems from having to deal with these horrible bosses, whether they really r horrible, or r just plain crazy. either way, u gotta deal with em, work with them, avoid them, change em, whatever to get by withotu vomting ur stress into their faces.

i think how u deal with them will depend a lot on their personality, your personality and tempermenet, etc. i ve written about this generally before i tink but just to add, i think a key principle in saving ur mind is to not to try and change ur bosses personality, behavior or attitude, but to change their personality, behaviro and attitude with respect to you. who cares if tehy r a bitch to everyone else, u need to look out for numero uno.  also, do u know how hard it is to change someone's nature? if uve ever been in any sort of intimate relationshipt (think parents, friends, signficant others, teachers, colleaguse) u prolly kno how hard it is to change someone, even if u r really close to someone and know them wel. now imagine doin it with someone u dont kno that well, r proly not friends with, and is older than u. tid be like trying to train a bull to walk around in a china shop without breaknig anything while taking heart-shaped shits, solving rubiks cubes.

so how can u change their attitude towards u.  no matter what their problem is, a universal communicator in relationships is trust. trust can get u a long fucking way in any realtionship. u need to get their trust. they will stop hounding u. they will stop micromangagin u. they will buy u breakfast and slap ur ass. if u think abotu the ideal situation, the horrible boss will just disappear, and turn u into the boss, delegating everytign to u. so, as a the people's rapist might pyschoadvise - try transmogrifying ursefl into them; put urself into their shoes, and really try to think how someone wsd give u confidence. like when u delegate to juniors, is it them doing a good job? is it them taking the bull byt he horns? is it being responsive? is it talking to them about personal stuff to get them to relax? is it offering free advice abotu their own problems? lip service? sycophantism? not all of this is always desirable, mind you. u need to weight he risk reward a little. if its pretty clear ud have to bend over backwards and kill urself on some deal before ur senior will relinquish the reins of terror and ridiculousness, probably best to try another method of escaping their debilitating grapplehold. like getting restaffed, taking a sudden family emergency vacation (remember, you have two grandparents on each side only), or something else creative. but i think most ppl can be worked with - remmebr most lawyers r just socially awkward and not necessarily complete fucknuts. some are complete fucknuts, tho.

so like i've said - ive managed to get by pretty well. befriending some bosses whom others have had a difficult time with have given me a lot lot lot of leeway. ive had to compromise a bit sometims (like spending an extra ten minutes at the end of meeeting asking some lonely dude about his day, his weekend whatever, find out what their interested in, pretend to be interested, get them excited to talk to you, etc. - this is a key to winning firends and influencing people (my dad gave me this when i was 12 and it has helped me succeed where ti counts, become disgustingly likeable at times, nail every face to face interview and keep my arch enemy coutn to zero ever since)), but it has been so well worth it. with the few outlier crazies, i have avoided them like hell, and it has generally worked out pretty well. so id say keep this principles in mind next time u find out uve got a harpee directing ur next deal.

and as a last interesting aside - a n interesting article about how difficult it wd be to actually change a person entrechend in its ways. keep in mind, its easier to turn urself into a teachers pet than to turn ur teacher into someone cool like randy marsh, this dude, that wolverine x batman abomination, or even the superman batman lovechild.




2 comments:

  1. This blog is the shittttt. I've spent the last hour and a half reading every single post you've made since february and i enjoyed every minute of it! As a high school student, i dont have the slightest clue on what it's like to be a corporate lawyer nor do i know anything about law (although i am considering this as a future career, not so much anymore though hahahaha) nonetheless, your likable personality and the ways you go about remaining sane with a stressful job make for a truly entertaining read lol. keep on blogging this stuff is great.

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  2. THx man! fo sho

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