Monday, October 3, 2011

Sharing is Caring...

I got a new officemate this week.  FUCK.  well, i guess being part of a civilized society demands that at times i learn to interact with and be in the same space as others....  actually, when i first started, i was also sharing, and i chocked it up to one of those rites of passage. we have two seats - one in the back by the window and one in the front near the door - the window and door seats. i was originally in the door, and then my then office-mate who was very nice, quiet and hygienic moved up to his own office, and i inherited the window. i lasted a long while without anyone, partly due to the recession i think. and now i'm in a position where most people in my class year really are not sharing, but we've recently started some rapid expansion program and are hiring a crap load of people. so i guess as part of that program they've decided to stick me with some funky dude with completely annoying habits. he shakes his legs incessantly, like he's literally got ants in his pants. his whole chair shakes, very distracting. good thing i have my screens blocking him almost completely from view (this also prevents him from randomly talking to me).one time, my secretary was in my office helping me with something and she told me after that his legs were shaking so much it made her want to grab them and rip em off.... and she was only in there for five minutes.  He's also go this 'breeding' problem - his breathing sounds like he's breeding. i've figured out they are actually sort of deep sighs, but not sexy, and very loud and distracting. and they get worse at night; literally every breath. Ugh. constantly with headphones on. and he's like MOVED in. he saw i had a bookcase. "oh i need one too1" sets up t it right against my desk, walled me in. he dosent even have any fucking books hes been here a few months. its all fiileld with food and weird ass kitchy crap. wtf? i've heard of some other bad office mate problems too. my friend once told me his officemate would devour every meal in the office, like a wild beast, chewing and spitting and slurping food loudly. people with BO. people that like to chat. people that generally just disrupt your lifestyle.

Anyway, i think one way to deal with them, although i think it may be too late for me to implement, is to just speak everytime you hear them do that weird thing "oh my god, are you okay?"...to draw attention to the habit. Or ignore it by plugging into some music. Or if it's just unfixable and really bad, talk to someone to change offices. You can also try smokin them out by making yourself a worse officemate then them (you can be creative here ^^). Like this guy:

1 comment:

  1. My favourite office was when I resigned as an Associate from a magic circle firm and was moved into a shitty little room that had been used to store dusty DD docs for two and a half years. At least I got the seat by the window...

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