Thursday, November 24, 2011

Delegating

i've written about this before it hink, but i think there are some nuances to note that will make everyons life easier, as a delegator.
  • treat ur delegatee's nicely, with respect, and dignity. ull get more flies with honey than urine soaked rags that you use to slap them in the face. trust me, you will. or don't trust me, but trust this guy.
  • before you hit alt+w on ur keyboard or 'f' on ur bb, think, will it make me look like a bigger dick if i just got this mssg and i'm fwding it? there used to be one dude in my office we called the 'fastest f... forwarder' because the time stampes on the fwds would always be within one minute of the mesage. we peed in his coffee. naw just kidding. we shat in it. think about it.
  • have faith, until u have reason not to. unless ur dealing with real green fuckers or robots, trust in them a lil to do the right thing. sometims when u get an email from them telling u first theyll take care of something, its like watching ur kids grow up, go to college and get the fuck out of ur house. great feeling. and when u work with ppl a lot, and they get to know all of ur lil preferences, like the way u want ur spacing done, the format for checklists, precisely how tightly u like the vice on ur nutsak, etc., its sweet, like ur jobs on autopilot.
  • take the time to train the ones worth training. its like taking care of a plant or an egg, or like one of htose plants that grow out of eggs...now im not making that up. anyway, if u want it to grow up to be useful to u so that u can rip off some of its limbs and use them to flavor ur food, then u have to make sure u dont shit on them.
  • pick out the good ones. not all lil egglings are born the same. well all the egglings are prety much the same. but some grow thyme, some grow basil...they should have some that grow weed that wd be popular. anyway, point is, some might be cracked, rotten, or grow something stupid like parsley. dont waste ur time on ppl that suck. dont tell em that they suck, but avoid them, work with other people, etc. u can still be nice, but just give them less work or very specific instructions - they'll be happier with u and ull be happier overall. its not worth ur time to yell at someone who doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, or is deaf. thinka bout it. the larger ur shop is, the more crappy monkeys and monkey helpers there will be, so chances may be higher u get a bad egg.
  • if u find a good one, stick with it. work him/her like a dog until they decide to quit or become jaded just like you, and that's when you quit.
  • work in california. everyone is happy there.
so much grass. so little time.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Working Remotely

just saw this - some FC tips on working remotely - not as applicable to professionals but some common sense points for those cml's who maybe short on it. or just whatever

places i have worked remotely from:

  • home
  • to and from home
  • other people's homes
  • public transportation
  • beaches
  • beaches in other countries
  • golf course
  • squash/tennis courts
  • restaurants
  • treadmill
  • in a meeting (for another deal)
  • CLE presentations
  • sidewalk
basically anywhere. u might be thinking, 'wtf why wd i want to work from a beach or restaurant or whatever - defeats the purpose!' and well u'd be absolutely unclefuckingly correct my astute simian slave, but then ask urself this, wat if u were on a beach, golf course or treadmill when u were actually supposed to be at ur desk. mu. ha. ha. just remember: bb + headset + delegates + a little creativity = sugar...and, in america, u all know wat sugar leads to...or if u dont:



so ditch that crapehanging dogsbody attitude and get with the pizrogram

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fucking Around

One of my colleagues just walked around to all the staff to show them his laser beam shooting eyes.  He put in bottle caps between his glasses and his eyes.  Excellent.  Don't forget to have some fun once in a while, otherwise you'll go crazy. or maybe he's already crazy...