Thursday, December 8, 2011

Baby, It's Cold Outside (Playing Hooky V)

What do you get when you mix recession with cold weather? Answer: creative ways to sneak out of your corporate cage with your coat without making it look like your sneaking out of our corporate cage with your coat. duh.

For those lucky enough to live somewhere you think "snow" is just that cool RHCP song that steve jobs used when he debuted the iphone, fuck you. Anyway, here are some ways i've heard people use to get around this timeless conundrum:
  • be that guy that wears a sweater
  • try the 'fedex
  • if you don't have a fedex box, take it to the tailors. keep some old worn shopping bags in ur office and stuff ur coat in it to 'take it to the tailor/cleaner' at 5:30 before it closes
  • park closer to your office or in a garage connected to your building; keep the jacket in your car
  • keep a jacket in the office lobby on a different floor
  • keep cigarettes around and create an alter ego of urself that smokes a lot so constantly goes out for smokes, but in fact just leaves
  • beater, undershirt, dress shirt, vest/sweater, light jacket, gloves in your back pocket and ear muffs in ur front
  • get those heating packs from cvs and stuff them in ur pockets and ur shirt (or if ur in japan, hokkairo). ull be like the human torch
  • wear a suit, padded with news paper. ull look spiffy AND buff
  • change completely in your office before you leave - jeans, sneakers, beanie, the whole 9 yds, and pull ur hat down low over ur brow or wear a ski mask so that no one will know who the fuck you are
  • put on a santa suit
  • just leave at 4 for "coffee"
  • just leave at 12 for "lunch"
  • just leave

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