Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Do you want to be a Capital Markets Lawyer?

You must be fucking (i) out of your mind, bat-shit crazy, (ii) retarded, (iii) both (i) and (ii).  I don't intend to offend anyone who has consciously and purposefully entered into the profession, and said to himself/herself, "Boy, I really do enjoy working on junk bond offerings and IPOs - it's just so exciting and fun", but I just don't understand why.  What are the redeeming qualities of the substantive work...if one can even call it that...?  Please, enlighten me.  If your reasons are: (i) money, (ii) no other job opportunities and no other qualifications, or (iii) you are under a spell from an evil wizard, like your boss, Saruman or Count Dooku, then I understand.  I would never call myself a capital markets lawyer, and having naively been exposed to it once, I made a conscious decision to not do that type of work anymore - and if it is to be forced upon me, then I will gladly just swap my cage. Cages are a dime a dozen.  I liken it to...being at a company that offers several types of work, let's say: (1) software design, (2) computer system engineering, (3) strategy and (4) cleaning the shit from clogged toilets.  Can you guess which one of those I equate with the subject of this gripe?  For those that don't have a clue about what capital markets attorneys do, let this be a cautionary tale -- beware!!

Meanwhile, I am finding ways to defeat Saruman and resume my normal life.